Ah-Mazing Story Time!

Yes, yes, this story is a bit late, forall you individuals who actually are stupid enough to read this blog, and I must say iheartzim225@hotmail.com, first of all- your name is creepy. 2nd of all- thank you for all the wonderful gift ideas for Gir, (even though I didn't ask for any...) He loved them all. I was lucky enough to recieve a letter from the Dib-Human, (I'm sure Gir put him up to it,) telling me Merry Christmas, (or whatever I celebrated), ham soap from Gir, plus some disgustingly sticky waffles, THAT HE ACTUALLY WRAPPED, SYRUP & ALL, and a punch from Gaz. (I'm serious, I walked past her house and she punched me. Crazy, huh?) Anyway, Christmas was pretty stupid, but Gir loved it, so I suppose it was ok. Anyway, I have to make this quick (in other words, stop rambling,) because some friends and I are going to see AVATAR. They said I had to come along, cause I was practically a cousin of the Na'vi, what with my green skin and all. Jerks.

(Suspenseful music starts to play)

So I was in this store, buying Gir another pig, on that could actually move when for some strange glitch, my PAK fell off. I turned around to grab it, but some little girl had it in her hand! "Give that back!" I said, but she REFUSED, telling me to get my own. She pointed at a large display of metal backpacks, that ALL LOOKED LIKE MY PAK. I pointed out that that one couldn't open, and she just shrugged, and said she'd tear it open. TEAR. IT. OPEN. WTF? (Hehe, I'm getting good at human terms.) TEAR OPEN MY PAK? And then her mom came up, and started asking her, "is this green boy irritating you? You need to see a doctor, boy. My daughter saw that toy first, let her have it." I tried explaining that I'd bought that one a week ago, right? Which is why it didn't have a price tag on it, and I'd modified it, using my genius little mind (yes, I actually convinced them that I was a boy genius) and now my little brother wanted one. They wanted to see, naturally, (this is where the part comes in where it reveals how GENIUS I truly am) so I told them I needed it back. They gave me it back, I reconnected it, (I'd been having trouble speaking,) and I used my mech-legs. The little girl instantly wanted it back, but I (being a cunning little devil,) just ran away. Haha. I think they might track me down and sue. Whatever.

See you Earthanoids!

Almighty Z

Amazing Story!

You will all be amazed at the miraculous story of brilliant daring I (Zim,) am about to tell you. I was shopping at the store, buying another piggy for Gir when a little girl... (amazingly suspenseful music) STOLE MY PAK!!! Anyway... sorry I have to go. Tell peoples later!

SH! don't tell Gir!

Well, I just got back from shopping, and while Gir was in the toy aisle I ran over to get his present. I got him:

1: pack of bacon.
1: BELGIAN waffle mix. (Yeah, that's right, BELGIAN)
2: Frozen Taquito boxes. (6 taquitos a-piece)
1: Life size pig toy

DON'T TELL GIR HIS PRESENT OR I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU.

X-mas, X-mas, X-mas!!!

Gir has officially has the topper of the insanity list. He cried, and cried, and CRIED until I got one of those... furry piney thingys that people decorate. We had to go all the way out to what you call... a 'farm' to BUY one! Yes, I know you are shocked! We had to BUY one! So I bought one, and apparently you have to buy little lights and 'ornaments'. So Gir bought twenty-billion of those too (no exaggeration there folks) Anyway, Gir wants to go out to buy presents for the Dib-human. BYE

My Crazy Robot

Ok- you know this music called Country??? Well, a classmate made me listen to some (I'm thinking about killing her) by an artist called Taylor Swift. 1st of all: Taylor Swift, your name is wierd. Second, country music is hypnotizing. That is, if you live past the first verse to hear the chorus. Anyway, Gir is totally obsessed now. Oh, you think I got hypnotized? Oh no, obviously it was the robot. I swear, every single time he plays Big Green Tractor and tries (unsuccessfully) to sing along I barf. It's disgusting. Now that I think of it, the only human music that actually interests me (though limitedly,) is Linkin Park and Disturbed. Gir hates Disturbed.

Another thing Gir likes is Mulan. He made a Youtube account, (though I'm not telling you it) and has every single song from the Mulan movies in a single playlist. And while I'm complaining about the robot I might as well make a list of all the things you don't know about Gir that irritate me:

1. Mulan is his favorite Disney movie (He's made me watch all of them) because, as he puts it- "The chubby man reminds me of a piggy"
2. He's stalking Rihanna (yes, that's how much he loves her)
3. Bacon is his favorite food (the pain...)
4. He is making an Invader Zim action figure. WHY???
5. He plays X-Box until 3 in the morning.
6. He invite Dib over to have a ping-pong gun war. THEY DESTROY THE LIVING ROOM!!!
7. He is just plain stupid. (You probably knew that one)
8. He always expects me to eat his waffles.
9. He always sneaks up on me whenever I'm working on my PAK so I screw up.
10. He's super loud during my transmissions to the Tallests.

And many other things he does too, though I'm limiting the list.

Well, I have to go feed my mutant squid/monkey! Bye!

Z

Boredom!

Hello, pathetic jigglers. I must apologize, something I DETEST doing! That was the link for the unedited version of the book. Oops. Here's the edited link: http://www.blurb.com/my/book/detail/1093414 Even with a little preview! Woo! I've already ordered my copy, so I can see how much information she truly has, the little scumbag. I salute you though, brave child! (Girl who wrote the book.) However, I'm warning the little humans who might try to replicate her plan: Give up now. Your efforts are futile. The amazing ZIM! will find you! I will hunt you down, because really, one book spilling all my secrets is enough.

Anyway, I'm telling Computer to put all of this on my blog. I just speak and it types it all out. Sometimes you can hear multiple voices. Gir wants to get on, NOT YET GIR! AHHH! GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT BACON!!! AHHH!

BACCOOOONNN! WOOOO!

GO AWAY GIR!!!

YES, MY MASTER! BUT LET ME ON SOOOON! MUST... BLOG... BEFORE... SCARY MONKEY SHOW!

Ok, I think he's gone. Whew he really- AHHHHH GIR! NO SLUSHIES IN THE LAB! GET OUT! NOW! GO IRRITATE DIB!

YES, MY MASTER!

Ok, now he really is gone. I heard him leave the base. That robot needs way too much attention. Well, I'm going to leave before he comes back so he can blog.

Bye, worms!

Girs Blog!

Just as I (The Mighty Zim,) said, Gir has created a blog at http://crazysir.blogspot.com/ It's.... 'interesting'.

Anyways, the New Moon buzz is settling down. I heard a girl in skool today saying a wormbaby named 'Taylor Lautner' was hot, but she had dragged me to that movie and he was not on fire as far as I could see. Crazy humans. Oh, but I got an e-mail from a girl who was an aspiring author about a book she has published on a site called www.Blurb.com (totally free) and I was terrified to see that it had TONS of information on my race! It was amazing, and terrifying! So, as you are all my hypnotized Earthanoids, and you will not blow my secret, it is perfectly safe for me to give you this: http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/1089139 . It is the link to buy it, if you are seriously that obsessed.

Anyways, Z is GONE! (Like lightning! I'm a ninja- that thing you humans are so obsessed about)

The Buzz

Ok-would ONE of you pathetic worms tell me why there is such a large buzz on New Moon? I know someone who went at Midnight. It's not pathetic if there is a good reason. A stupid human told me in school to read the books. Read? Human books?!? I'm ok. Anyway,

IZ OUT

Yes, I know... still haven't updated. Whatever.

Well, Gir was the reason I still haven't updated. The stupid robot! GRRRR! He wouldn't stop being so irritating! He was playing with those stupid rubber pigs alll week! It was so stupid! Then he invited a REAL pig to my base! You cannot believe the GERMS!!! Anyways, Invader Zim out!

RAWR

Yes, I know you pitiful humans were worried about me, weren't you? Do not worry, the infernal Dib-human broke into my beautiful base and destroyed the main computer. I had to fix it, and then it fixed the rest of that wretched worms damage. I will be back and writing normally, I assume.

FLOCK TO HIM!!!

My ever humble slave GIR is creating a blog later in the week. Flock to it!!!

Remembrance

Hello all you Earthinoids. I now have my base settled, and assuming you worms are as stupid as you look-though tall, which is something I still need to convince the Tallest of- I believe you will never believe any of this. So I am recapping my entire AMAZING journey to your puny and smelly cess covered planet. After being assigned my TOP SECRET HIGHLY IMPORTANT mission and got my ADVANCED G.I.R. Unit, I flew away, to the unknown planet, which it turns out is WEAK because its only defender is a little boy-grrrr- named DIB. Ugh! Anways, I will finish later... this is a long story. ENJOY YOUR LAST FEW WEEKS PATHETIC WORMS!

Invader Zim, signing off.

I am a GENIUS!!!

Hello human worm babies. I am here joining this 'blogging' site because I feel it will help me finish my disguise. ZIM IS ALL POWERFUL!!! You are here reading this pitiful 'blog' because you, like all nasty larvae, have nothing better to do. And I will use this to my benefit. You will all fall under the hypnotic spell of ZIM'S GENIUS!!!
Hi there! I'm G.I.R.! Do you know where pig went? We were in the middle of a tea party! YA-HOO!!!
GIR! (That's my pitiful minion. He is very ADVANCED technology so I will not expect you disgusting HUMANS to understand the complexities of his personality.) I have a new PLAN. More later!

ALL MIGHTY ZIM...

OUT!